By Mikayla Mann
Art by Amy Yuan

In the beginning, there was Barbie — or so you thought. Before even Barbie, there were Mudders™. 

Meet Pass-Fail Frosh. They are a special edition Mudder that crops up consistently every year around the end of August, although their cost increases noticeably every year. One particular Pass-Fail Frosh — let’s call her Patty — is a few weeks into her first year in MuddBubble, and she is absolutely loving it. Oh, perfect, it looks like she woke up just now! Let’s check in and see how she’s doing.

Patty sits up and stretches from the top of her many-tiered bunk bed (no, really, she doesn’t mind living in a quintuple because her roommates are all the best of friends!). Her alarm cheerily rings with an enthusiastic reading of the MuddBubble mission statement as she gets ready for the day. Patty smiles at her reflection in the mirror while thinking to herself, I am so excited to assume leadership in my field with a clear understanding of the impact of my work on society when I graduate!

Each of Patty’s roommates is a unique design of the Pass-Fail Frosh Mudder, customized by their different interests, majors, and senses of style. One of them happens to be her best-best friend, Sabrina, who walks cheerily alongside Patty on their way to their first class of the day. In Patty’s opinion, Sabrina clearly has the best fashion sense features in MuddBubble. The custom closet Sabrina got on move-in day was stuffed to the brim with clothes that all fit her perfectly, and they could be combined in every permutation possible. But Patty wasn’t jealous — that wasn’t an emotion that a Mudder could feel!

“Hey, is Nelson coming to the Hoch with us for lunch today?” Sabrina asks, jerking Patty’s thoughts away from stylish outfit combinations.

Patty frowns. “Hmm, I doubt it.” Nelson, another one of their roommates, has unfortunately been endowed with a “Never Gets Out of His Room” feature. So far, all efforts to challenge this trademark have failed. But Nelson is perfectly content to remain in his comfortable swivel chair every day, and Patty is certain that no Mudder would judge him for that! 

As Patty and Sabrina pass Platt, Patty gazes around in wonder. She can’t help but exclaim, “I just love how gorgeous our campus is!” 

“I know, right?” Sabrina smiles back. “I think the warts are the cherry on top. Did you know that the person who designed the Museum of Modern Art also designed MuddBubble?” (This is indeed a true fact.)

Patty gasps in wonder. “Oh, that’s amazing! That explains why everything is so aesthetically pleasing.”

“Hi, Patty! Hi, Sabrina!” Both Mudders swivel their heads to see their friend Fred skipping towards them with a bright grin on his face. 

Sabrina squeals with excitement and gives him a vigorous handshake — the conventional greeting among Mudders (not too strong and not too weak, to prepare them for the working world). “Fred! I haven’t seen you in ages!”

“I know.” Fred bashfully dips his head. “It’s because I just became a Mudder Who Has Free Time!”

Patty and Sabrina jump up and down. “This means you can finally hang out with us, since we’re still Pass-Fail Frosh with tons of free time!” Patty declares, overjoyed.

“Yes — wait, actually, hang on.” Fred closes his eyes, a furrow between his eyebrows. As his eyes reopen, a distraught look flashes across his face. “Apparently that was a limited edition that was only available for ten seconds, so I guess I’m busy again. Sorry guys, I have to run to the Parsons basement!” 

The two Pass-Fail Frosh can only watch him sprint towards Ac End, twin disappointed expressions on their faces. 

“Maybe he should get a skateboard accessory? It would save him a valuable two minutes getting to class every day,” Sabrina wonders out loud.

“Yeah, but those are sold separately,” laments Patty.

The two continue their walk to Shan, moods quickly bolstered by the perfect weather. In MuddBubble, the climate never strays from sunny and 75 degrees. 

“Oh! Sabrina, I was meaning to tell you,” Patty turns towards her friend. “Earlier, I was listening to the MuddBubble mission statement, like we all do every morning — but today it felt different. I feel like I can really make an impact on society when I graduate!” 

Before Sabrina can answer, a speedwalking stranger crashes into both of them with the speed of a particle collider (or so it feels like).

“Hey, watch out!” The stranger, clad in an eye-catching combination of khaki pants and a polo shirt, rears back and glares at the two Mudders. Immediately, his expression shifts into surprise. “Wait, are you Pass-Fail Frosh?”

Patty manages to squeak out, “Y-yes…?”

The man’s eyes narrow. “Ah, I figured from the way you two were talking about the MuddBubble mission statement,” he scoffs. “I need to tell you something. Let’s go up to the third floor of Shan.”

Sabrina and Patty move to follow him without a second thought — after all, weird strangers are not a concept in MuddBubble. The man whips his head over his shoulder and shouts, “PETE, GET OVER HERE!” 

Another stranger, about the same age as the khaki enthusiast, hurries over from the circle of Mudders he was immersed in. “Sorry, Sheldon, I got sidetracked asking those West-edition Pass Fail Frosh if WIBSTR is still our motto!”

Sheldon rolls his eyes, and Patty realizes that now would be a great time for some introductions. “Hello, Sheldon and Pete! I’m Patty and this is my friend Sabrina. I think we caught both of your names, but could you tell us a bit about yourselves?” She sticks out her hand cheerily.

Pete fumbles for words as Sheldon mutters testily, “So we’re still introducing ourselves with handshakes and elevator pitches here?”

Luckily, Pete gets his words back enough to stammer, “Oh, hey, I’m Pete — sorry, I haven’t had practice recently with this question, ever since I’ve been at my Tech Bro Job — umm, I’m an antique Mudder — that means I’m an alum — but I really wish I were still a Pass-Fail Frosh!”

Exasperated, Sheldon summarizes, “Pete’s official description is Peaked in College Mudder, if you couldn’t tell.”

“I love it here! I come back for all the alumni events and try to make it into every party I can,” Pete grins proudly.

Sabrina laughs. “I mean, who doesn’t love the MuddBubble? We totally get it!”

The four float up Shan’s three floors in a blink (stairs are not a concept in the MuddBubble, since time could be better spent doing so many other things). They take seats on the patio outside the SkyCube. “Isn’t the MuddBubble so beautiful? Look at all these plants!” Patty remarks.

“Yeah, this is the MuddBubble’s single aesthetically pleasing location, in my opinion, so it’s the only place I could bear to meet with you two,” Sheldon grumbles.

“Wait, Sheldon — you never told us more about yourself!” Sabrina realizes.

Sheldon’s mouth goes taut. “Right — name’s Sheldon, I’m also an antique Mudder, and as soon as I left the MuddBubble, I realized how much of a lie it is. That’s what I need to tell you about.”

Patty gasps in shock as Sabrina leans forward, elbows on her knees. “We’re all ears, Sheldon.”

“Well, you all still listen to the MuddBubble mission statement every day, right? Enough that you can recite it by heart?” Patty nods and begins, “The MuddBubble seeks to edu—”

“All right, that’s enough,” Sheldon interrupts. “I wasn’t asking to hear it. In fact, I don’t think I ever want to hear it again, because it’s simply not true. When I graduated and became a Working Mudder, I immediately got stuck doing boring tasks that leave no impact on society. I don’t feel excited about anything. And I don’t have any friends! Why is it so hard to make friends once you leave the MuddBubble?” His voice becomes increasingly distressed, rising in pitch as he talks. 

Pete jumps in. “Yeah, every day I think about how life will probably never get as good as it was here. I thought that when I left the MuddBubble, I’d get a job that I was super excited about right away, and I’d collaborate with my coworkers all the time, and we’d live together and party together every day. But maybe that isn’t how it’s supposed to be?” 

Patty doesn’t know what to make of that. Clearly, Sabrina doesn’t, either, because the conversation lapses into uncomfortable silence (which is unheard of in the MuddBubble).

Pete clears his throat. “So, you both want to make an impact on society when you become Working Mudders, right?” The Pass-Fail Frosh nod. “And you’ve met Internship Mudder?” More nods. Internship Mudder was the Mudder everyone wanted to be like. They had been contacted by a recruiter on the first day of school, and within 24 hours, they had a job nailed down for every summer and a full-time offer lined up after that! 

Pete bobs his head approvingly. “Honestly, you should start applying to Internships outside of the MuddBubble right now, if you want the best shot when you graduate. It’s never too soon to start The Grind!”

Sabrina and Patty turn towards each other, wide-eyed. “But we were told to enjoy our pass-fail semester, and our freshman year, and not stress too much—” Patty frets, but Sheldon speaks over her. 

“No, no, no,” he shakes his head. “Watch out — you don’t ever want to become like Midder. Have you heard of Midder?” Seeing only confused looks from the young Mudders, he continues. “I learned this during MuddLore, when I was a Pass-Fail Frosh. Midder was an ostracized Mudder, and they were mid in every way. Didn’t do great in school, didn’t put effort into internship applications, spent too much time enjoying their MuddBubble experience instead of staying on The Grind. And guess what? They had no job, no life of their own, no friends to remember them by. They left no impact and they were forgotten.” 

Sabrina looks like she’s about to break down into tears. “But I was told that everyone who leaves the MuddBubble changes the world! Otherwise, why would we even have the mission statement?”

Just then, a small but spritely Mudder wearing a neon hat rounds the corner. “Ah, I knew I sensed some funny business happening up here!” she exclaims.

“Hi, Proctor Priya!” the Pass-Fail Frosh cheer in unison, moods brightened. Priya proctors the dorm they live in, and she has been nothing but accommodating and thoughtful to everyone.

“Hi, Patty! Hi, Sabrina!” she smiles back. “And hi…?”

Pete coughs awkwardly. “I’m Pete. And, uh, this is Shel—”

“I can introduce myself, thank you very much. And it’s Doctor Sheldon, actually — got my PhD just to be able to say that,” Sheldon smirks proudly. 

Proctor Priya quickly schools her face into a polite expression. “Well, nice to meet you both. I’m a Proctor Mudder — I come with my own bright floppy hat accessory and a free DreamDorm! What brings you two inside our MuddBubble?”

Pete starts, “Well, I just wanted to come back and see the campus vibe—” but Sheldon interrupts him. “I’m here to educate some Pass-Fail Frosh about the terrible reality of life outside the MuddBubble.”

Proctor Priya’s eyes widen in recognition. “I’ve heard of you! You’re a Sketchy Alum Mudder. That explains everything!”

“A Sketchy… what now?” Patty asks hesitantly.

“Sketchy Alum Mudders take it upon themselves to spread disillusionment and chaos,” Priya clarifies. “They’re up to no good, and most of the things they tell you are either lies or over-exaggerations of insecurities and uncertainties that lie within all of us.”

Patty’s mouth twists with a frown. “So you mean… these things Sheldon — sorry, Dr. Sheldon — is telling us, they might actually be originating from our own mental fears?”

“Exactly. And you might not have even realized it,” Proctor Priya confirms. “I’m assuming he told you two about Midder?”

Both Frosh nod sadly. Priya grimly shakes her head, but her tone is comforting as she says, “Midder is nothing but a MuddLore myth. They are a manifestation of something we call Imposter Syndrome, the fear that you aren’t qualified to be in the MuddBubble. All of us have worried at some point that we are turning into Midder. But in reality, every single Mudder belongs here in our Bubble. And while that might not totally dissipate your fears of Midder, I hope it comes as a comfort that you are each here for a reason.”

Patty places a relieved hand over her heart. “I didn’t even realize how much I needed to hear that until you said it out loud. Thank you!”

Smiling, Priya gives her shoulder a friendly pat. “When you leave the MuddBubble, you can’t just let the world happen to you. You’ll have to take it upon yourself to go out and leave a positive impact. While that might sound daunting right now, you’ve still got four great years ahead of you to shape you into change-making Mudders!”

Sabrina’s eyes flash with concern. “Four years sounds like a really long time right now, but I’m worried it’ll fly by before I even notice.”

“Just stay mindful of where you are in the present moment,” Priya advises. “Once you become antique Mudders, remember that the best years of your life are still ahead of you.”

“Wait, are you sure—” Pete interjects hurriedly. 

“Yes, even for you, Pete!” Proctor Priya laughs. “Think about it — owning your own DreamHouse instead of a DreamDorm, taking on anything you want in your free time, and exploring so many places outside the MuddBubble!”

“That… does sound pretty nice,” Sheldon begrudgingly agrees. “Maybe I’ll start looking into DreamHouses.” 

Patty’s eyes are bright. “You can buy one of those straight out of the MuddBubble, right?”

“I sure hope so!” Sabrina claps her hands together. 

Priya smiles graciously. “Ah, Froshlings. I’m so excited for the day when your MuddBubble will burst. Because then, you’ll finally learn what a current event is!”